While in deep meditation, I sometimes sense that this thing I call “I”, this body allegedly holding the totality of all that I think is me, is just an illusion, a place for eternal consciousness to reside.
What disturbs me the most, if nothing else, is that this experience called life seems endless, utterly endless. The closer I approach to the Truth in silent meditation, the more it seems that ending this dream called life is as easy as turning off an electric light—just make a decision, flip a switch, and it is all over.
It disturbs me a bit because if I am right, there is no way for any of us to escape ourselves. Stated another way, God is us and we are God. Therefore how can we escape from ourselves and what we are doing here? How can we escape life itself? Life seems eternal. Life is a dream. But even dreams end when we wake up at night. How much more so is that true when we use analogy to examine our waking life and what happens at death. When we die, somehow we go on in another form, one might say existing from a perspective other than what we are used to.
And that is the thing that I find so difficult to comprehend—the simple fact that life seems to constantly go on in some new form. I don’t see an end to it…unless we decide to end it (thru acquisition of divine knowledge & wisdom as it is taught in yoga science & philosophy), and never return to life in any form.
But somehow I wonder if it is possible to REALLY end it all anyway? All beings seem to need rest at some point. We humans certainly do. And since we imitate God in all our ways, is it not reasonable by the use of analogy to postulate that God also rests at some point? That perhaps God sleeps? And if so, then by Polarity… wouldn’t God wake up at some point? And if that is so (again, using analogy), one has to ask the obvious questions.
Is the universe a creation of a God that is dreaming? Or is the Universe something that is happening to a God that is awake and experiencing the Universe as a separate creation beyond God?
And if the latter is the case…then who, or what, created the Universe, engendering life with all its components?
Then again from another perspective, since All is One, wouldn’t the apparent dichotomy that is plaguing me in this essay be the real problem itself? Is perspective the problem? Isn’t is possible that God is awake and dreaming simultaneously? With an eye on analogy, wouldn’t this dreaming-while-awake possibility account for the fact that we operate in both modes in the course of a 24 hour cycle?
I am befuddled. Is this life all there is? Does it really go on in some other plain of existence which we perceive in a more accurate perspective? Do we simply change perspective to see more clearly that what is,…simply is? With no way to escape it? Once again harkening to the concept that we cannot escape from ourselves, ourselves being God?
Things seem so much clearer when I am deep in meditation. All stops. All dichotomies converge into One whole. All that changes is my perspective, really. I don’t literally see things morphing into one big glob of light or anything similar. What happens is I just sense that inherent Oneness of It All.
And then the meditation ends at some point.
And I am befuddled again.