THOUGHT ITSELF IS THE PROBLEM, THEREFORE BE NEUTRAL
Didn’t start off great at all today. Woke up very late, thinking that it was so much earlier, and I never heard the alarm. Felt ridiculous. My thoughts are assaulting me. I can’t stand this dream matrix. It is a prison. I am in a prison for the mind. Everything “out there” is a trap trying to keep me “here”. Goddammit. EVERYTHING, as far as I can tell is meant to keep me here. There are times when I think my own friends are NOT even REAL and are keeping me attached to this world. Even if the ARE real, I still think that maybe my attachment to them is keeping me here. It is all about attachments after all, isn’t it?
Lately I have been thinking about emulating the Buddha and trying to dissolve all thoughts in longer and longer meditation sessions until Enlightenment ensues. Sometimes I see no worthy endeavor in life, as life really has no purpose. Life IS suffering. Life is SEPARATION from Source, creating a reality separate from God. For what purpose life serves, I do not know. I do not think it serves any purpose quite frankly. I think life is a mistake. I was told a long time ago during my Kundalini Days, that all of this was a kind of experiment, that God wanted to try to create every thought possible and every possible occurrence in every possible way.
This harkens back to what Semjase said in the Billy Meier contact notes, if I understood her correctly, namely that creation was trying to create everything possible, every situation possible in every way possible. Those contact notes also mentioned that Creation itself sleeps after some trillions or more years. Then it does it again, a new process of creating. I think about it now, and I hope that is the simply the fate of the Separated part of Source-Divinity. I can’t imagine the purpose of living in this horrible Dream Matrix, managing Liberation from it back to the Oneness of God, only to do it all over again. There is no purpose in that, save that God is trying to exhaust all possibilities it can think of. But wouldn’t God just create other newer separated souls to do such a thing? Is it really that “we” all have to come back, trillions of years from now, to have more experiences all over again? Isn’t a few million trillions of years enough to discover all the possibilities? Good fucking lord!
I dunno, I dunno. All I want is to get OUT of here. I have had enough already. I find less and less happiness here. There truly is no happiness here, not “out there”. The yogis say that there is no Truth to be found in the body. This means there is no Truth in the Physical world, neither in our 3d bodies nor in the 3d world in which they interact.
All is vanity. Vanity in the soul is the evil that amplifies all evil.
6 PM—A friend phoned me and we got to talking. He confirmed what I just wrote above and I feel better about it. Thinking is the problem. Thought itself is the enemy. This Matrix is the prison for the mind. As long as there is thought, there must be a place for the thought to manifest. Stop all thought, like Buddha did after 3 days of meditation, and then all suffering stops. Thought is life is existence separate from God is suffering is hell is the problem. Geez. That’s it.
This ties in perfect with my “theory” of Divine Neutrality. Be Neutral to all things, so that there is no thought that arises from any happening.
