Just realized something today.  The reason I generally never liked to help anyone in the family with any of their projects is really quite simple.  It harkens back to the movie Field of Dreams and its recurring message–“Build it and they will come.”

The principle and core message of this phrase is this—YOU and YOU ALONE must start your projects YOURSELF and work on them YOURSELF.  You must NOT ask nor coerce anyone in any way to join you, but rather let those who take notice of your work and are subsequently interested in helping you simply join you if it is their free will choice to do so, with absolutely no raping of their freewill whatsoever on your part.

A really excellent and horrible example, more than any I can think of is my own mother.  She seems to have never learned this above lesson.  She literally doesn’t care what you are doing with your time or how important it is to you (unless you earn plenty of money—then she leaves you alone), if she thinks in her own mind that you can best serve HER current needs at the time, you are drafted to help her with whatever hair-brained project she has hatched for often no more reason than to just say that she did not have ‘idle hands’, therefore leaving the Devil no option but to go find someone else to possess.

For much of my life she has always had that habit of drafting anyone and everyone in the family for one stupid project after another with absolutely zero care for what anyone was doing with their time.  Now I understand why this always bothered me so much all of my life.

It is a VIOLATION OF FREE WILL.

Jesus, some people never fucking learn.

She rarely ever learned anything from me and never seemed to want to learn from me.  As a result, we have had great difficulty communicating.  For a long time, I was little more in her eyes but a loser college dropout.  Intuition has always told me to just let her go and let her be.  Why shed a tear over someone who treated me and everyone else in such ways?  There seems to be nothing anyone (even me) can do to help her.  All I can do, and all I am required to do (spiritually) is to just let her be, and let her go.

It is nigh impossible to feel any sympathy for someone who never realizes their continued violations of the Free Will of others, and little one can do except interfere with their interference in the lives of others.  But if such an act is undertaken, then the result must be certain and final, otherwise even beginning such an endeavor is pointless.

In today’s world, this reversal of the Natural Way it should be seems to be a primary reason that we even have and use money to get anything done.  We literally have to exploit people by offering something of perceived value to get them to feign interest in our projects and help us, essentially abusing and perpetuating their ignorance of the natural way things should take place, the natural way things should get done.

It amazes me that so few people seem to realize Free Will and Natural Law and allow such to rule the day.  Funny thing is, I have somehow known it all my life, but could never verbalize it, much less truly understand why the hell I hated the unnatural way with such ferocity.  Geez.  What a vast difference there would be in the world if more people started to live in this natural way, instead of trying like mad to attract people’s attention and money to their various ridiculous ideas even before they have begun work on them.

No wonder I don’t work well (if at all) with groups of people.  No wonder I nearly always work alone.

The governments of the world operate from this backwards perspective (not surprising).  It generally works the following way, with little variation.  They announce what they want to do, whether it is build a bridge or start a war, and then proceed to violate the Free Will of literally everyone with ‘advertising’ and ‘marketing’ of the their ideas utilizing every trick and lie necessary until the idea gets thru the weak mental and emotional defenses of the masses.  Then the idea finally has a chance to become manifested by hi-jacking mental-emotional energy of the people and sacrificing it to the governments own selfish ends.

This violation of Free Will happens every day.  Wars are begun this way.  Wars are literally ‘sold’ to the people, marketed to them by praying upon their fears and desires until enough energy is accumulated to make the war seem legitimate.

Get the people to back your idea (because your idea is not a good one in the first place) and then the idea can become a reality.  In this case the idea is a war.  Sell the war until it seems like a good idea.  Once done, then the war begins.

This formula is utilized by every major government on earth without exception.

Want to know how wars get started?  Now you know.

From the moment we are born into this world, we are already dying.  It sounds horrible but it is true.  If a baby is left to fend for itself it will die, correct?  Thus you have prove of the initial statement.

What is life if not the opposite of death?  Duality must be considered.  We all tend to operate so one-sidedly that we think we have “life” never thinking about the polar opposite that comes with life—death.  We take our first breath and a countdown begins until the last breath.  Each moment, we are dying.  We do everything we can to continue what we call life by breathing, drinking and eating and so on.  And yet we never think much about the cause of our actions.  The cause is to stave off eventual death, which must occur and will occur for everyone at some point during the experience called life.  For everything that has a beginning has an end.

The inimitable comedian/satirist/philosopher Bill Hicks used to say that life is only a dream and there is no such thing as death.  If in higher states of conscious we learn that death is an illusion then isn’t life an illusion too?  Isn’t the whole experience of life and death (and subsequent life in some form or another) then an illusion?  What is God doing if not just dreaming all of existence, as if for Its own amusement?

It is said that we are made in the likeness of God.  We create worlds in our dreams and God does the same thing, apparently in dreams also.  Only every particle of the dream is experiencing itself as a part of the whole because each part is endowed with consciousness from its Creator.  So are our souls endowed with consciousness.  Our Souls are therefore reflections of God.  We are here to experience the dream of God.  And since we are part of God, then what we are drawn to do with our lives (by our own choice) is therefore the Will of God manifesting in the dream creation of God.  It must be.  What else can it be?

It is about choice.  Free will choice.  Choose to serve yourself or serve others here in this the divine dream.

Sometimes it seems like God just wants us to casually observe everything without trying to control it ourselves.  All the while doing what you can to offer to the world of your talents.  You add your skill to the chain of souls and it all adds and goes around in the big fractal spiral endlessly towards eternity.  That is all one really must do and apparently all one can do.

Remember and be active in the role of just doing what you can for others with your work (dharma work—karma).  Observe all that happens.  Learn all you can.  Do your best.  Do it with no thought of reward and be grateful for any support you receive from the world around you.

From one perspective achieving enlightenment seems to be a process of ever-increasingly being “OK” with what is going on ‘out there’ with the processes of the Universe.  One way of putting it is “Everything is as it should be.”

Enlightenment seems a process of being fine with the world as it is, knowing that all you yourself can do is to supply what Light and Dharma work you can, to contribute what you can instead of trying to save the whole world all by yourself.  To truly function as an enlightened being means to offer all that you can, to sacrifice to others and to the world by means of your work for the world (dharma), all the while “being OK” with what you see out there because quite frankly you know that there is only so much you can do by yourself.  It’s a hard truth to accept, but one must become OK with the world as it is, no matter if it is a paradise, a hell, or somewhere in between headed in either direction.  Otherwise, it would be impossible to even begin working on anything because one would be so absorbed with what is ‘wrong’.

If you think about it, this simultaneous mindset of doing what you can whilst knowing that it may not even be enough to help but a few people is the only frame of mind that can save one from total insanity.

This attitude must not be confused with apathy, though it may seem as such to some.  The underlying theme here is compassion, tempered with reason and logic, followed by work.  The logical side of the mind says, “Why bother?”  The compassionate side of mind says, “I must help them all.”  Only in a balance between the two can one find internal peace of mind and eternal peace of the soul, as well as know just what to do for the betterment of all.

One must not have severe emotional reactions (if any reaction at all) in response to all that is going on around you.

It seems to me sometimes that all of creation is a grand experiment in which the end is known already, just not how it will come about.  This seems to me to be a reasonable reason for the simultaneously existing paradoxical concepts of predestination and determinism.  We have Free Will to do as we please.  And yet the only way to Eternal Peace is to “acquiesce” to the Will of God.  Stated another way, one cannot do ANYTHING against the Will of God or else suffering is the result of using our Free Will.  The trick is to align your choice, your Free Will choice with that of God’s Will.  In this way one will effortlessly participate in the experiment of creation and arrive at the end “on time” so to speak, instead of prolonging one’s suffering before the ‘end of time’ comes.  The point is to enjoy creation without being attached to it, instead of labeling everything and fighting creation which causes suffering in the form of being unable to just sit back and enjoy it.

Everything is as it should be.  The faster you accept that, the faster you will be able to move on.

Just a perspective.

Those who do not do their spiritually intended dharma-karma work for the world are basically pawns of the darkness because they are letting the world tell them what to do.  If all did their dharma karma, the world would be a paradise with new life-enhancing inventions created every day, experiencing more and more joy as time passed.

Instead we have a population who are enslaved to the world and serve its whims.  Maybe this is what Aiwass referred to in The Book of the Law where Crowley wrote “The slaves will serve.”?  Perhaps the explanation is as such—since the abilities of the enslaved population are controlled by the world, the it is only natural that the enlightened would rule the world by virtue of their ability to control themselves which in turn grants them the ability to “control the world” then it follows logically that such divine control will lead the lives of the enslaved pawns who otherwise have no choice in the matter but to be controlled by the divine dictates of the enlightened, that is until the slaves learn to control themselves.

The enlightened spread Divine Order down the ladder, first to the world which then feeds it to the pawns.  So in this way do these rare people in actuality indirectly serve the real needs of the slaves of the world, simply by the action (karma) of performing their divine duty (dharma).

The work of the enlightened becomes freely available for voluntary use by the masses, as opposed to that which is advertised (a species of force) by the evil minded whose actions only serve to involuntarily compel slaves to needlessly desire and want that which the evil doers are trying to force the slaves to buy so they can greedily earn money they don’t need.  Such is vampirism.  Those who advertise their wares are in a real sense—vampires.  They can never have enough.  They suck and suck, getting bloated and bloated and it is never enough.  They never look at their bloated egos just like those addicted to food never look at their bloated bodies.

“The world is a vampire.”—lyrics from Bullet With Butterfly Wings by the Smashing Pumpkins.

The trick is to give energy to the world in the form of your soul’s light-work (dharma) but in a way that hides its source, leaving no reflection behind.  Just like the HERMIT (from the Tarot cards) who hides his light.  Hide your light by not advertising.  Seek not compensation.  Whatever money your work attracts as reciprocation will provide all the energy that you need in life to survive.  It will come of its own.  Just offer your work to the world.  The slaves are waiting for such light-work.

If you seek not what you think you deserve, you will not be as a vampire, seeking energy to suck to satisfy yourself and your selfishness.

All existence is a modification of the eternal vibration that issues from the vibrationless realm named Akasha.

All is a modification of the AUM, the All-vibration manifested out of the Infinite.

The proper practice of yoga is defined as the “cessation of the modification of mind-stuff”.

In other words, yoga simply quells the storms of the mind, which would otherwise result in the appearance of a ‘modification’ within the mind.  These modifications or desires must then either be calmed or else they will find manifestation in the experience we call life.

Impotence in men is not always the fault of the man.  Society, in its myopic and monodimensional perspective is always quick to blame the man for not performing with a woman.  Rarely does it ever question the mere possibility that the woman could be to blame.

For a man to have an erection he must be paradoxically relaxed and excited simultaneously, a curious blending of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.  He must be excited at the thought of uniting with the woman with him and absolutely relaxed that she desires an honorable relationship and is not using him in some secret evil way.  Many men who have supposed problems with erections really have a problem with a dishonorable woman or women in his life.  Generally speaking, it can be said that he has reason not to trust these women.  But why?

The problem could go back all the way to childhood.  Perhaps he had some bad experiences with women.  He more than likely was hurt in some way by a woman such as his mother, sisters, grandmother, or even a neighbor.  Perhaps he suffered horrible abuse from one or more of these.  Such negative experiences always manifest problems later in life.  Abuse is horrible, no matter what form it takes.

The cause of his impotence was the result of some action taken by a woman in his past.  It could also be the actions of the woman currently in his life.  If she is in any way dishonorable or untrustworthy, he will not be fully relaxed with her, being guarded with interactions with her and the relationship will suffer.  In such a situation, sex is not only impossible, but something that should be avoided in the first place.

Deep down, a man wants to receive love from a woman, to be accepted by her.  If she is not loving, not nurturing, not caring or sympathetic, not generous or giving, then how in the hell can she possibly expect her man to want to intimately interact with her in any way, much less be capable in such a situation of physically injecting his penis into her body?  Such a woman is wholly undeserving of expecting to be loved in any fashion whatsoever by any man, much less anyone else.  If she secretly desires to use him in some devious or selfish way, and the man suspects these actions, then true Union is always and forever impossible.

Some women foolishly desire to selfishly use a man to change her life in some way.  Some use men for illicit affairs just to have a major reason to cause strife in a current bad relationship from which she desires to leave.  A ridiculous idea since leaving a lover requires little more than just a simple declaration on her part, followed by walking away.  Some women use men to try to get pregnant, once again just to have a ‘legitimate’ reason to force him to love her, or even to leave another lover, all the while never thinking of the 20 year illegitimate commitment required to care for and raise this ‘legitimate reason’ to adulthood, much less thinking about whether or not the new man even wants to father a baby.

Relationships with such idiotic and dishonorable women should be avoided by all men.  Using ‘boner pills’ to continue such a relationship is stupid.  Such is an attempt to use harsh chemicals to override an unnatural situation that is best avoided by every man on earth.  In other words, leave the bitch to her miserable self to work on her own character faults.

Generally speaking, if a woman is truly honorable then the man will have no problem uniting with her on all levels.

Relationships really can be simple.

Yet people somehow always find a way to fuck up their lives to the point that neither sex can fuck the other without chemical help.

In the realm of ordinary relationships, it is impossible for a man to attempt to do anything that he thinks will make a woman happy.  It simply doesn’t work that way in the Universal flow.

However, in a Truly Loving relationship, one based on Unselfish Love, all that the man can do is follow the dictates of what his Intuition tells him is the right thing to do for the woman in his life, no matter what that is.  All the woman can do is to appreciate his actions.

For a woman to selfishly desire senseless things and actions from the man, or to make emasculating ‘suggestions’ to him (even in a gentle manner) is absolutely an affront to any man and his divine role within the relationship.

Does the earth tell the Sun how to shine, or where to shine or for how long?  No.  Thus it should be with the ideal relationship between the sexes.  Let the man give to the woman what his Intuition tells him to do.  Let the woman refrain from making selfish suggestions to the man, opting instead to selflessly and lovingly appreciate what he does for her, guided by his Intuition.

If a woman is displeased with what her man does for him (because he is not truly unselfishly loving), then the most obvious option for the woman is to simply find another man, one who is united to God within himself and is truly Selfless and Loving.

If a planet is unable to produce life because it is orbiting a star incapable of giving enough light to support life, does the planet nag and bitch at the star, telling it to shine brighter (or get another job?) so it can produce life?  No.  The planet somehow breaks free of its orbit, wandering the galaxy until it finds the source of light it needs from another star.

Sounds strange, but it’s true.

My experience with Salvia Divinorum taught me the meaning of Eternity or Infinity as well as the meaning of Time, the Division of Time and the experience of Separation of the Self from Divinity.

While under the short spell of Salvia’s entheogenic grasp I experienced Eternity.  More accurately, I should say the plant thrust it upon me with the fury of a rushing freight train.

While under its psychedelic grip, no matter what I looked at (usually the ceiling) I experienced that thing as Eternity.  There was no time.  There was only an experience of timelessness, even thoughtlessness for a few minutes.  I could swear that the ceiling tiles I was looking at was entire universe itself.  It seemed to be an endless thing that extended forever, like some sort of Cosmic Fractal.  It is like the thing had no ‘place’ even.  It was a perfectly static image, frozen forever in eyes that beheld it in a timeless frame of mind.

The effect of the plant does not last forever of course and I came down soon enough.  The next thing I know is that my mind is starting to experience sequential divisions that occur with ever increasingly finer divisions.  Imagine cutting a carrot in half, then into fourths, then into eighths, and so on until the slices are literally infinitely small, so small that the carrot is not even there.  This was my experience of coming down from the timelessness of the Salvia experience.  My mind was able to grasp “slices” of time with more and more frequency until minutes later, I was back in “normal” consciousness.

What I learned is that, as one eastern spiritual order puts it, I lost my “addiction to time” under the influence of Salvia.

The reason we experience time is that our souls are disconnected from Divinity.  As I see it, this experience of disconnection ‘divides’ us from Divinity, which is experienced as Eternity or timelessness.  Apparently, when one divides oneself against Divinity, then the experience of Eternity is divided as well, producing the false phenomenon called time, which can be defined as Eternity experienced as a series of ‘divisions’ measured as seconds, minutes, etc.

Meditation, if practiced correctly over a long time, can reproduce this eternal timelessness, at first for short periods.  With more practice, this experience is lengthened.  Eventually, the meditator can call this experience forward anytime.

The end result is what yogis call samadhi (or even mahasamadhi).  It is a term used to describe consciously entering one’s own death.  Essentially, extensive meditation produces the ability to return to the timeless state of eternity, which is the experience of Divinity Itself, to which we are all connected, despite what our senses tell us to the contrary.  And the experience of Divinity returns to us the perception of Eternity, which is timeless.

The more we are connected to or obsessed with time and our day to day lives, the further our souls are from Divinity.  The more we are engrossed with the things of the earth and the material world, the more we experience infinitely smaller and smaller divisions of Eternity itself into and experience we call “time”.  The ancient seers called time an illusion.  They also called the material world itself and the experience of our lives an illusion.

They were right.  Totally right.

Salvia Divinorum can teach this.

In esoteric numerology, 1 + 1 is really equal to 0.  This is so because the polarities of male and female come together and cancel each other out in perfect Union, expressed as 2 = 0.  Therefore 1 + 1 = 2 = 0.  One and one come together to become “2 not 2” which seems as 1 but which is ZERO, NAUGHT.

THE ANKH.

Reality, existence itself is basically a nothing turned inside out.  The result is everything in existence manifested out of the nothing from which it came, literally inside out.  What is inside (everything contained in the nothing) is pushed outside of its ‘borders’ manifesting the everything contained in the nothing outside of that original ‘reality’.  Turn it all back on itself and you have a big black hole.

Mathematically, that original reality is expressed as 0, also expressed as 0/1 which is equal to 0.  The reality we have called life is expressed as 1 over 0, or 1/0 = All, or the Infinity symbol, an 8 laid on its side, also expressed as 1/0 which is equal to Infinity or everything in existence.

0/1 is also the symbol of the Ankh, an Egyptian symbol.

Turn this over on itself and you have 1 over 0, expressed as 1/0 which is graphically symbolic of both an erect penis sitting over a scrotum, as well as erect clitoris over a gaping vagina.  1/0 is expression of everything, of desire sexual or otherwise.

The point is that manifestation away from absolute Unity results in an expression of Duality or Polarity.

The practice of Spiritual Unity is one of becoming 0/1 as opposed to 1/0.