CLEARNESS
Something I have noticed, more or less since my kundalini rising last year is the following. It seems that the closer you approach to attaining Enlightenment, the “clearer” you feel inside. By this I mean that not only is the garbage of your emotional self clean, but that you literally feel things differently than before. Feelings you once had, such as lust, take on a more subtle and refined character. Even orgasms feel almost ‘not there’ because everything you feel is so clear and you just don’t get the same surge you once felt from the experience.
The first time I noticed this “clearness” was when I was trying to get high after the kundalini rising. I literally didn’t feel it. I thought I hadn’t taken enough or something. I even thought I had become so used to it that it would no longer work on me. But eventually it dawned on me that I was rather experiencing the high at a whole different level. What was missing was the “heavy” feeling that usually accompanies those who smoke pot. It was simply not there. But the rest of the characteristics were still there. I was still able to think intuitively, feel horny just a bit, and get hungry later on. The biggest difference was that I didn’t feel stoned (as it is known).
I have figured out that the reason the heavy feeling is gone is because that feeling results from the clashing of the high feeling of godly vibration with the junk contained within your body and soul. It is like trying to pass clear water thru a dirty filter. If you are the filter, you will feel incredible to have any clear water trying to pass thru you. But what if the filter gets cleaner? Then the feeling will diminish as there is less resistance to the clean water passing thru. Eventually, if you completely clean yourself, then the water that passes thru you will have no resistance to it, and you will simply experience yourself as moving water.
In the case of spiritual enlightenment, we are working with energy, vibration, or Divine Light itself. If the soul and body, specifically the nervous system (the physical manifestation or seat of the soul) is dirty or clogged, then anytime that Light passes thru, there is resistance experienced as the heavy feeling that normally accompanies getting high. But if the soul is cleaned, as in my case by severe meditations, then the feelings of heaviness disappear altogether, because the Light is not experiencing any resistance in the soul. But the Light is still within, and flowing thru. But it more and more gives one the feeling that I Am That, because you can see no difference between you and the Light passing thru.
Curious that the name of the final Yoga Samadhi means literally “with no difference”. More and more, that is how I feel as I meditate! Like when I meditate and come out of it, sometimes I think “I am still here.” It is so strange to me now. Meditation is different from before. It doesn’t feel the same, sort of like getting high, which I don’t even feel the desire to do so anymore. But then again, heavy meditation always made me feel like I was high anyway, so what is the difference if I do or don’t?
