“We are eternal…all this pain is an illusion.”—lyrics from Parabola, by Tool.

If I didn’t know any better, I would say that life itself is a slap in the face of the Almighty.  It seems to me that existence as we humans are experiencing it is likened to an experiment gone wrong, like our souls wanted to have an experience of something, to have an existence of something that wasn’t entirely necessary, possibly wrong and may just likely be a little more than a trap for the soul, meaning that the 3D earthly experience called ‘reality’ is a trap for the Divine itself.

Existence itself seems like a wrong move on our part.  It seems to be a big Divine Mistake.  Existence leads nowhere.  Its reward is nothing.  It is not eternal, but is endlessly repetitive.  It proves nothing.  It gains nothing but misery.  It breeds more misery as it persists.  Life and existence is not beautiful.  It is separate from God.  It is an affront to God.  It is a slap in the face of the Almighty.

Life is the result of Free Will that was directed in a direction opposite from the Singular Unity of Eternity, which is not found anywhere on the 3d plane of existence.  There are only hints of the Eternal to be found here in life.  All moves in an circle.  All repeats.   All is vanity here.  Being here is proof of vanity in the soul.  There is nothing that can be had here in life.

All comes from God.  All things.  And all things point towards a source, a center that is found nowhere and everywhere and cannot be pinned down or captured but only hinted at or alluded to.  This is so because this existence is not of God, but the result of vanity arising from the soul’s free will decision to be as God is, just as is told in the story of the fall of the angels in which Lucifer boldly claims that he can be just like God and revolts in heaven only to be cast down into hell, which correctly interpreted is 3 Dimensional existence here in the universe.

The doctrine of surrendering to Divine Will, or stated another way unifying oneself to the purpose and will of the Divine Source from which one originates is the only way of liberating one’s Self from the thralldom and illusionary existence of life.  Doing God’s Will is the way out of hell.  To become humble to God’s Will is the way out.

Death is a joyous experience as reported by nearly all people who have a NDE (near death experience).  But death as experienced by an advanced Yogi or Adept is truly the biggest Joy ever experienced because it is a re-union with the Almighty.

As long as we are experiencing ourselves as individual or separated from everything we shall remain here in the hell of 3d ‘reality’.  We are from one perspective a bunch of differing frequencies of light, all possessing a spark of the Divine and egotistically thinking we are God itself because of the minuscule things we can accomplish here in ‘reality’.  We are just a color of light, not the whole spectrum of light itself, much less the Source of that Light.  Only God is the Source of that Light, called the Ain Soph by the Kabalists or the Limitless Light.

We are that Light of God projected out from the Source of that Light, possessing a fractional resemblance of that Source of God from which we as Light-wave expressions emanated out of egotistical desire to exist outside the realm of God.  How can God exist outside of itself?  Why would God separate itself from itself?  To what end?  Foolishness!  Selfishness!  Ego!  Damnation!

It is written in one scripture by Aleister Crowley (LIBER AL) that “I am divided for Love’s sake.”  That division should have never happened in the first place.  The pathway that is left inherent within us that can lead us back to God or the Source of ourselves is Love.  Love will bring it together.  When the One separated, the way back to Oneness was created along with the experience of Duality and that way or path back to Oneness and out of Duality is that of Love.  If Duality didn’t exist, neither would Love.  Love combines what has been broken.  (Perhaps this is related to the ‘broken vessels’ mentioned in the Kabala)  If we, out of our arrogance had not broken what should not have been broken, there would be no need to find Love outside of ourselves because we would already be One, experiencing Love Eternal because we would be that very experience of Love Itself.

Greed is a species (for lack of a better word) of selfishness.  Attachments lead to greed.  Having possessions lead to attachments to said possessions which then leads to greed in regards to possessions in general, engendering a possible inner desire for further possessions leading to attachments, etc.  It is all a tremendous effort by the ego to keep the soul mired in selfishness.  It is no wonder why the best of the spiritual orders always require that the novice give up all possessions.  It helps to release from the mind the notion of ownership.  It is not impossible to become spiritual while still ‘having’ your possessions, but it is just more difficult if anything.  Even Jon Peniel said so, not to mention that Yogananda’s 1^st American success was James Lynn, the very successful, wealthy businessman.  With enough spiritual attainment the realization comes that the things you thought you owned in fact owned you.

The truth is, there is no such thing as ownership.  At best it could be called a temporary usage.

The soul can be said to be a frequency of light.  An expression of the Ain Soph of the Kabalists.  God is One and nothing simultaneously (2 = 0) which is in itself the Limitless Light.  The soul is sent outwards into duality to be part observer and part ‘do-er’.  It is that which is responsible for selflessly manifesting or expressing its signature soul frequency in the dream world.  The soul is asleep for the most part upon incarnation.  Thru the help of a magical or yogic technique it can come to realize that it is not the separate thing it senses itself to be.  The soul, endowed with consciousness, realizes that it is at best a mirror or sorts, a mirror that manifests its frequency by reflecting the light of God off itself perfectly into the dream world of darkness.  If the soul-frequency expresses itself perfectly then it can achieve liberation itself, meaning it returns to the Source from which it came, because it has reflected itself well enough that God no longer requires or wills the Soul Observer Do-er to express it’s frequency into the dream world, having left enough of its divine light thru its karma yoga work to survive the soul frequency’s physical disappearance from the 3d world.

The soul is a light that “goes out” from God & then “goes forth” back unto God.

This harkens back to something that O.T.O. (Ordo Templi Orientis) author/magician/Thelemite Kenneth Grant mentioned about how adepts ‘go forth’.  If memory serves, it had something to do with not so much what spiritual masters do while incarnated, but how they go forth or go outwards.  Of curious note is the fact that the Egyptian Book of the Dead may also be translated (perhaps far more correctly) as The Book of Going Forth by Day or The Book of Going Forth by Light.

The process of enlightenment can be viewed as one of building your body’s DNA into a perfect radio receiver-broadcaster.  The whole point of all the meditations and spiritual and physical work is to re-create the body’s DNA into a perfect antenna of sorts, capable of receiving and transmitting Divinity perfectly without any interference.

Everything is the AUM vibration, literally EVERYTHING.  Everything is just a vibration.  Even the chanting of the ONS (Om Namah Shivaya) mantra sounded like AUM.  All music, all sound, all thoughts, all things are a vibration that is AUM.  Even chanting other mantras like YHVH, IAO, O.N.S. or AUM produces the same result.  All is just a vibration, a noise, a created thing, which is then perceived and is nothing more or less than something to perceive, a dream if you will.

Since all is AUM, the creative vibration, then it is no use to condemn or flat out reject anything out of hand, arising from sheer selfish misguided denial.  All is AUM.  All is OM.  All is pure.  Nothing is unclean or impure or not of God, since it all stems from the One Source.  All that is brought forth from the Void thru the Creative power of the AUM is useful in some way, and can lead one back to the Source, if seen from the right perspective.

The problem with creation of anything here in the Matrix is that what is created assumes power according to the attention given to it by others.  If the thing is of God and leads to God, then rest assured that it will have a difficult “life” here.  The more hardship in maintaining its original form, the purer it must be.  If it attracts plenty attention, then that attention will certainly be more scornful than not.  If it resides in secrecy and is difficult for a seeker to find, then more than likely it greatly resembles God, its true Parent.

Everything we create with our thoughts is a Child of God.  If the Child greatly resembles its Parent, then it is considered Holy.  If the Child is nothing like God, then it will certainly be rejected by those who know God in themselves.  But even so, there is nothing created out of God that cannot be raised up, nothing beyond redemption.  No one, no thing is beyond God’s reach, for in the end, all Creation goes back to the Source anyway.

Again, I perceive that when one is tired or bored with the dream, one wakes up from it.  I don’t think that is an entirely accurate description, but it tends to describe the process a bit.

The work one does for liberation is meant to be a pathway for others to follow, to help others get out too.  Each does his own bit, to bring an end to the nightmarish quality of this “reality”.

Thanks to the Law of Polar Opposites, one can find many similarities between modern day terrorists and spiritual adepts.

The biggest unifying characteristic is the absence of the fear of death.  A man who is not afraid to die is the most dangerous person alive.  He is dangerous because he does not care about the consequences of actions.  And a man who does not care about the results of his actions is dangerous.

But dangerous to whom or what?

Terrorists are out to scare people into abandoning their calm, inner Divine nature.  But spiritual adepts are out to terrorize the Ego.

First of all, terrorists and spiritualists perform the same actions, but for different reasons, and they each operate from opposite perspectives.

Terrorists are driven by their Egos.   Terrorists approach their terror-work, or karma yoga, with total devotion and zeal, backed by nothing more than some unproven belief instilled into them by someone else.  Their modus operandi is one of killing and destruction to instill fear into the ones they feel are their enemy.

All people fear Adepts and criminals, for they both do a similar thing—cause change.  Prisoners/Criminals and Adepts are treated the same way—with fear.  Mainly because they do the same or similar thing—cause change.  The difference is that Adepts are careful to not let anyone know what they do, otherwise it draws the attention of the “agents” or “controllers” of the Matrix.

All will to power, whether it be from an adept or a crook, is a crime from the perspective of society.  For both are acting outside the parameters set up by society, i.e., its laws.

A sociopath can teach us to enjoy and appreciate life and not take it for granted by committing some terrible murder or series of murders.  And yet adepts strive to do the same thing by training their students to control their egos and perhaps even simulating the death experience so they will be enlightened and appreciate life.  Both the actions of the evil and the good can teach us the same thing, just using different approaches.

It is a joy to give the joy one receives from god.  The feelings experienced after a super meditation are a result of the interaction of the polar opposites of male and female energy, the delicious sexual interaction of the Spirit and the Soul.  Perhaps it is only natural to want to give forth the bliss one feels.  But if the ego is not totally under control, it is likely to exert its influence and convince the still unperfected soul that it must go find someone who has been selfishly loved in the past and try to pass on the newly felt meditation-caused bliss.  It is natural to want to give forth these blissful energies to someone beloved.  If no particular person is available, then give to all.  If no ONE is available to love and serve, then “Love All and Serve All”, as artist Peter Max said on Larry King live one night, quoting an Eastern spiritual teacher whose name escapes me.

“Love them” by giving them space to find themselves, judging not anything about them, for that is condemnation disguised as a form of criticism and is an action of the ego.  You have no right to condemn any save your own students, if you have any, for they ask you to do so.  Condemn your own ignorant actions.  Rebuke your own ego.  You can do this not by taking negative actions against your ego, because that will only feed it.  Instead, feed your Higher Self with positive actions and Soul-calming meditation.

“Serve them” by just doing what it is you are meant to do, what excites and inspires you.  Rest assured that the inspired work you do will be of benefit to someone at some point.  It is none of your concern exactly how that happens, nor is it any concern of yours if your work will be misused or abused in some way.  One need not worry about the stupid freewill choices that others make in regards to your karma work that you offer as a sacrifice to all beings.  Misunderstanding is the “name of the game” so to speak.  You are not obliged to save everyone.  Just do your part to offer your footprints for others to follow.

My God, the universe really is just endlessly repeating patterns of manifestation.

Again, I think the process of Enlightenment is (in one sense) one of boring the Self into stopping the nonsensical mistake called Life.  The ancients used to talk about Eternal Life as a promised Gift of one who seeks God.  I wonder whether or not that in itself is a trick or sorts, a carrot on a stick, used to drag us back to Unity Consciousness, so that we can stop the madness of Physical life.

Life is not a gift.  It is a revolt against God itself.  To cling to life is to turn one’s back on God, saying in essence, “I reject the God of Heaven who made me, in favor of the insane god of the world, which seems real enough to me.”  This is of course,… folly.  For the manifested 3d world is not real at all.  It is an illusion created by our insane minds.

In this manner, one could say that perhaps God itself is also insane for creating this universe?  This has been suggested by another author and I would not dismiss it outright just because it sounds as insane as its own assertion.  A third author I met personally has written in his own work that contrary to popular opinion, God is not perfect, as is evidenced by the fact that we are all here having this experience, meaning in other words that we would not have to have been created if God was perfect since our existence (according to this line of thought) has come about from God’s desire to discover something it has yet to learn.

Similar information has come to me thru my own Intuitions during deep meditations and quiet contemplation.  To say I am disturbed by this revelation (if true) is an understatement.

THOUGHT ITSELF IS THE PROBLEM.

I have always wondered why I have had such an uneasy feeling in regards to love as I see it displayed around me, and especially as portrayed on the movie screen.  All my life I have apparently been sensing something I could not define much less understand until now.  Lately I have been getting revelations (intuitions) that love as it is practiced today is just plain wrong.  If my Intuition is not deceiving me, I would say that it is love as it is currently understood which is the problem.  But more specifically, I would aver that selfish love is the cause of all human misery.

Simply defined, selfish love is the attraction of anything to oneself that one does not deserve.

Stated another way, selfish love is the incorrect action undertaken by the unenlightened ignorant soul which uses its inherent divine creative ability to attract to itself what it does not karmically deserve or what is not destined for that soul to have or use, which inevitably leads to that soul generating karma against itself in the form of greedy attachments to the things it has selfishly attracted to itself.

According to the ancient teachings, the proper mode of behavior for the soul is to do the will of God.  When this is done, the soul is operating within the bounds of selfless love or unselfish love.  When this is done, the actions undertaken by the soul become correct actions which will not generate any selfishly-related karma unto the soul, resulting in the soul becoming a pure channel for the will of God to pass thru.  When this is done, all things that are attracted to the soul as a result of selflessly-generated actions can be said to be truthfully the things that soul needs and karmically deserves in order to do the will of God.  This is the way of the soul’s Liberation.

So much for the way it should be, but how does this apply to the state of human relationships?  In a word, we are “screwed”.  We are hopelessly screwed because the majority of our actions regarding love are just plain selfish or stated another way—wrong.  Simply stated, we are going about it all in the wrong direction.

In a ‘normal’ relationship, a man is attracted to a women’s outer beauty and wants to possess the woman.  He courts her, woos her, and generally tries like mad to win her affection.  If he is ‘lucky’ it works and she devotes herself to him.  One thing leads to another and the relationship usually ends up in marriage, children, sometimes divorce, sometimes bitterness and boredom with each other, then old age leaving both parties disappointed and deeply unhappy, all the while wondering why they could not find the joy that “love and marriage” is supposed to bring.

Sound harsh?  Inaccurate?  If you really think that I am exaggerating here, take a good look at married couples around you.  Take a look at your own relationships.  Take a really honest look at ‘normal’ love all around you…and then ask whether or not what I just wrote is untrue.

If you have any true vision whatsoever, you know what the answer is.

Great epic stories are the result of very flawed characters committing great acts based on their own personal psychological and emotional delusions and misperceptions.  The greater the flaw, the greater the drama (or comedy).  If an author desires to write a great story then the plot must contain equally great characters possessing at least one major flaw which skews their perception of reality.  Such is the formula for great drama or comedy.

All creation is a drama, the greatest drama in fact.  Everything that happens, everything is the result of a union of separated opposites.  The interaction of opposites creates the drama called life.  And drama is another word for suffering.  And as Buddha said, “Life is suffering.”

But there was another Buddha named Ho Tai.  He saw everything from another perspective.  It is said that when he achieved his own enlightenment, he laughed at everything he saw.  The reason for this is easy to comprehend.  Drama has long been considered the opposite of Comedy, ever since ancient times.  Ho Tai apparently emerged from his enlightenment realizing the underlying stupidity of existence itself, sensing how it has no meaning at all and therefore all actions performed by the ordinary unenlightened are ridiculous in the eyes of God.  Ho Tai was reported to laugh at people working at their jobs and then he would share candy with children to celebrate the sweetness of life.

From one perspective, the activity of life is seen as suffering because it leads nowhere and is ultimately disappointing.

From the opposite perspective, the activity of life is comical because it leads nowhere and is ultimately disappointing.

Either viewpoint is simultaneously faulty and correct.  Life is what it is—an egotistical attempt to exist as separate from God, as though we were the Fallen angel Lucifer himself.  And no matter what perspective you choose to view it, life is ultimately meaningless and pointless.  A Divine Comedy, as Dante wrote.

Life is the most dramatic of all epic Dramas.  It is both sad and funny.

As the philosopher Plotinus wrote, “Life here with the things of the earth is a sinking, a defeat, a failing of the wing.”